Quite frankly your dm needs to help with those taxes

I know, I know it will be hard to face her on this issue, believe me I know. But for your own salvation you must. You are in this mess because you tried to help her avoid paying certain fees and now you are in a pickle. She created the mess, she needs to help fix it.
Like Kathryn we’ve been the savior right up until we said “No more.” Everyone loved us as long as we were paying their bills and handing out money. When we took over dmil’s finances she had been served with an eviction notice from her senior income building, had over $1,000 in hot check charges in a month and much more. For six years we covered her hot checks, paid her bills, purchased her eye glasses, purchased all her groceries and medicines and much more.
Then sil decided that she wanted dmil’s ss check and went behind our backs to take that over for herself. When that happened we informed them in writing we would NOT be paying any more toward dmil’s future because we knew exactly what would happen when sil did this. We also started sending dmil a monthly bill for a small token payment on the over $64,000 she owes us. The plan was we would put that money back for any future real emergencies she might have. To date we’ve had not a word or penny from them and it’s been 18 months.
Immediately like Kathryn we became the pariah of the family. Siblings were told by sil we had taken dmil’s truck and fifth wheel without paying her for it (we paid $18,000 and have the receipts to show it—sil has actually seen that paperwork and still lies about it). That we took $11,000 of dmil’s brokerage account—sil has seen the brokerage paperwork that shows dmil took it herself and spent it on that exact same sil, That we forced her to take out insurance policies to benefit us—the single policy that was to benefit us was taken out in 1992 by dfil who died in 1999, we didn’t even know about it until we started paying dmil’s bills. The burial policy we have canceled check from OUR checking account that shows we paid for it and the policy states it is strictly for her burial that there will be no additional funds. And the list goes on and on.
We’ve been called everything from the ruination of the family to the devil incarnate. But guess what we survived and when this last week we discovered that not only were those family members back to using the charge cards that dh and I went in debt to help pay off but within a three week period they spent over $10,000 on at least one of the charge cards. They’ve cashed out the life insurance policy we had been paying for dmil’s additional future burial expenses that the burial policy won’t cover that was in dh’s name and much more. While doing this the sil that is doing it has gotten on facebook and told the world that we took advantage of her mother. She has told the world so many lies about us in writing that we could hit her with a serious defamation of character lawsuit. However, we have decided, at this point, to not do so. It’s just not our way. The other siblings that believed the sil are starting to see everything we warned would happen have already happened, but no apologies have came our way. They never will, but we have came to grips with that. Dh and I’ve decided that taking that first step to stop shelling out money for other people’s problems was hard, but so worth it.
Eventually sil will crash and burn and we will let her, we have to because until everyone quits bailing her out she will never take responsibility for her own actions. We have to let that happened, because no matter how angry dh is with his sister he still loves her and he now sees the only way he can truly help her is to let her hit the bottom hard.
We instead continue to battle through to pay off the debt we incurred for dmil and when (hopefully not for a very long time) she passes and the sil is looking around for money not a penny will come from us.